Paradigm Shift

Hello to anyone who wondered where in the heck I have disappeared to. :) 

(all 3 of you)

I am here. 

I am at home with my wonderful, crazy kids and I am present. 

Let me explain:

One day, a couple of years back, as I was running from an elementary school to ditch my oldest two kids...to a preschool/daycare to ditch my third child...and dragging my infant along as I ventured out to meet a customer for a new business I had started... I was tired and unhappy. I was living life full speed and realizing that it was a crapfest. I was always grouchy. When I was home, which wasn't often...I was working on my other ventures of networking online and building a review blog- that was fun for me, but was also taking away from the only time I did have with my kids. 

 I started asking myself big questions like: 

-How in the world am I going to have seven kids if I can't keep up with the four that I have? 

-Why in the heck am I having all of these sweet children, and sending them away? 

-These sweet kiddos are MINE and I want them with me, but how?

-How can I find the time to say "yes" to the spontaneous fun I always dreamed of? 

-Is this really how I want to live my life?

-How I want my children to live theirs?

I quickly realized that something had to give. 

SO-I pulled the plug on everything but the basics. 

I pulled my third child out of preschool.
I pulled my older two children out of elementary school.

I ditched my new business I was trying to grow. 

I stopped blogging. 

I tried my best to simplify my life. 

I read books upon books about minimalist living and slow living and simplifying. My eyes were opened to the life I wanted to be living. 

Fast forward to now ....

-I homeschool my two oldest children. 

-I now have five kids and am still hoping for my seven. 

-I am happy.

-I live simply.

-I live slowly. 

-I love fiercely.

-I am intentional with my time and energy. 

-I don't care about THINGS. I care about RELATIONSHIPS. 

-I no longer glorify busy. 

-I strive for peace and calm. 

-I jumped out of the fast lane and am thriving in the wild.

-I am free.

So I don't review things that help calm my busy life anymore. I just ditched the busy life all together. So....That's where I've been. 

Playing in the mud with my kids ;)

But if you miss me...

I do have an instagram addiction and you can find me there :)

@tessyfishburn

Also....I'm really hoping to catch up and keep up my personal blog sometime soon. So hopefully I can be found there in a few months ;) 

But as far as BUSY MOMMY LIKES is concerned....

She no longer exists...

 and I love it that way. 

XOXO

-Tess

I 

C-section -vs- Natural Delivery

I am now on day ten post my C section.

First, a refresher course on my experiences bringing five kids into this world...

#1: went into labor on my own. got an epidural. labored for 4.5 hours, pushed for half hour. small tear. beautiful baby boy. 8 1/2 lbs or so... (Ian)

#2: went into labor on my own. labored for 45 minutes, trying not to push for the entire drive. nurse caught a beautiful bruised baby girl. slight tear. 8 1/2 lbs or so... (Tuesday)

#3: went into labor on my own. labored for hour and half or so, pushed and tried to maneuver his giant melon out for about 45 mins. tore terribly. no drugs, bawled for hours, wanted to die. actually something in the IV to make me drowsy and take the "edge" off while they were trying to get his head turned the right way, so some drugs, but not good ones... 9 lbs 2 oz beautiful baby boy. (Asa)

#4: induced. nothing happened on pitocin for about 9 hours. finally contractions started. i dilated fast. labored for hour or so. didn't get an epidural in time. got something in IV to take off the "edge" yeah right. pushed for fifteen minutes, Arin got to catch a beautiful baby girl 8 lbs 6 oz. small tear. (Stevie)

(this is how i remember it, i'm not waddling my pathetic A around the house to find all the journals with precise measurements and times, so i could be off a little...but not too much)

#5 cesarean section. no fun. low lying placenta. plus i broke my tailbone early in pregnancy and didn't want to risk re-breaking it. 7 lbs 11 oz beautiful baby boy.(Rod)

 (how unfair that my smallest gets cut out and my largest leaves me wrenching in pain for weeks) 

now that I've covered all of the births. while i'm comparing, I'm going to compare using the number of birth order. 

First off... if I could have traded #3 birth from a vaginal to a csection, i would in a minute. i remember that recovery with terror, thinking i'll have to do it again. so when i think of worst natural delivery scenario, i think of that. 

also, i know there are worse than my worst, so i'm just saying that is MY worst natural delivery and I dont wish to re-live it. 

I'd also like to touch on the fear and emergent situation in which my spontaneous labor with #2 was born. I have had a great fear of having a baby in the car or at my house by myself. apparently, unless they are huge and their head is positioned wrong, my babies like to come out fast. but guess what?! i was wishing for a baby in the car after this csection!! So I guess an hour of fear and urgency and emergency and sheer craziness is more my style, than cool, calm and collected as i'm slowly gutted. i need more adrenaline and control! and waaay more Arin presence! I couldn't have done any of these without him holding my hand and when they decided to cut me open and he wasn't in the room...i nearly lost it. i need my lifeline. and quite frankly, I prefer him there ready to catch that baby and cut the cord and punch me in the back when i'm having back labor. We kinda have that down... so this csection with its orderly,slow and sterile environment, kinda freaked us both out! Plus, after #2 was born suddenly and the room wasnt prepped plus there was only one nurse and me and arin, we had a really nice calm after the storm where we got to hold her and look at her and love her before the room was bombarded by surprised nurses taking care of business. thats actually a really sweet moment and memory i have.

And let's talk about the fact that with #4 I got induced and the frackin midwife didn't give me an epidural, than wanted me to thank her afterward!! remember how that was one of the reasons i wanted induced?? to get drugs! ugh my anger at her and my fear of traumatizing my little sister in the corner of the room kind of overshadowed the rest. i hated that B and i'm pretty sure i let it be known. but Arin did get to catch and cut the cord and have a lot to do with the birth and i liked that. They also threw her naked, goopy body on mine while i was still writhing in pain and pissed at the lack of drugs... i didn't enjoy that as much as most people who mention it do..all i wanted to do was kick my midwife and cry..at least for a few minutes. (i had a midwife b/c of my fear of having baby in car, for some reason they seemed like a good choice...then with #5 i stuck with them due to ease of insurance crap, bad choice- I finally got released from them and into the care of a real Dr a week before baby #5 was born)

#1 i will remember as the ideal way to have a baby. though i wouldn't have thought it at the time, b/c they taper off the epidural so you can "feel to push" and i remember the ring of fire and my dr and arin saying "theres the head, he's almost here" and i may or may not have grabbed my husbands shirt, pulled him closely and screamed for him to "grab that head and PULL IT OUT!" ahh, what i wouldn't give to go back to those simpler days....the labor was non existant! i could only tell by watching the contractions on the monitor. amazing. 

OK, so lets sum this up:

#1 preferable. 

#2 scary but preferable over Csection 

#3 wretched. would rather have Csection 

#4 pissed me off, but better than Csection, not scary like #2, not stuck or huge like #3.

#5 csection, no thank you. but i still wouldn't want to risk the hemorrhaging that was possible due to the low lying placenta, i didn't like that gamble.

this is about to get real, so anyone who doesn't want to hear about the ins and outs of my netherland ins and outs....i suggest you quit reading. 

i hear that the comparison is six one way and half a dozen the other... your stomach hurts or your bottom hurts. i would probably agree, except for the fact that my bottom hurts too. and it has since #3 literally tore me a new one. So I went in thinking only my stomach would be hurting after, but i promise you my hemorrhoids are killing. and my broken tailbone from months ago, back to hurting too. I can't tell you if they'd be worse or the same if i'd have had a natural delivery. b/c #5 is my smallest, I doubt they'd be worse.. I imagine my hemorrhoids got so bad when I was still numb and they were pushing on my stomach to make my uterus contract, even if i couldn't feel it, it was pressure. that's my guess anyway... glad i didn't feel it though!

i know i'm probably the only one who thought this, but i thought, heck while they have me cut open, they'll probably just suck all the blood out while they're at it. but nope. still get to bleed. then i thought, well, since nothing came out of "there" i could at least use a tampon and not a pad so i'll be more comfortable, nope wrong there too. so i'm still bleeding, i still have to use pads instead of tampons, and my butt still hurts, but NOW i have a friggin slice on my gut and IN my gut that are in two close, but different, areas and every time i moved for a week after, I shuttered in pain as what feels like a needle stabs me from the inside a few inches below my new battle wound. still there, but i've finally figured out how to move to make it less painful. i learned that when i cough if i grab my incision, and the lower painful area and raise my leg to my chest, it doesn't hurt so badly.... i look awesome maneuvering it and i have especially loved having to go into public for a few appointments and showing off my moves there. 

I dont know if this has anything to do with the Csection but i have a horrible hack that will not go away. it varies from dry and itchy to mucus and gaggy. it's so fun gagging and heaving right now too... ugh. 

another thing that could very well pin me as stupid here is that the afterbirth pains happen even after csection! i had no idea! even though my uterus did nothing to get this baby out, i got to deal with the contractions after he was born and i dont know if everyone has heard that they are worse after each baby, but yeah, i didn't love it. 

another issue i'm having that i don't recall, and i'm not sure if it's due to lack of memory or what, but i'm hating having a 2yo i can't lift. i know after #3 when i was healing, i couldnt lift anything for about a month or so, including my 2yo then, but this is different and worse. bc then, if i was sitting i was fine. i finally am to the point of letting my 2 and 4 year olds climb on me and let me hold them, but i often get an elbow to my incision and it hurts like heck. and i'm still so far from being able to put my 2yo in her crib or get her out. she keeps testing me and it's heart wrenching. I do not think this was the case with my #2 or #4. (didn't have anyone else to lift after #1, but I dont remember it being like this) honestly, this whole giant (but not really) wound in the gut thing, is kinda getting me down...

a few other things that differ from after my natural deliveries: 

-i can't climb into my cozy bed, so i get to sleep on the couch. 

-the surgery prep and spinal had me wanting to back out. it was a creepy room. the "pressure" after the initial shot in the spine really just turned out to be hot lava that he was shooting into my back, i describe it as "pain"

-when i go to the restroom, it hurts in two different places simultaneously rather than one...

-pooping afterward is just as bad as after natural delivery.. 

-when i shower i need a full frontal covering because it hurts from top to bottom. (i used to have the stomach pain free,albeit saggy and gruesome)

-i still cant walk well. 

-i havent bounced back as soon as i'd hoped or as soon as i think i usually do. i'm never fully back by now, but usually far closer.

-i didn't have arin with me the whole time through entire process of birth

-i didn't see the baby for 2 hours after he was born, instead i had a one on one date with a male nurse in my room for a solid hour. i liked the guy, but i'd prefer my husband and baby...

-i had some rough goes at the hospital when they would get behind on my meds and i would get to writhe in pain for hours until it got under control, as my exhausted parents watched and tended to baby. those were two very fun nights...

-I've had to rely on outside help far more and for a longer period of time, i'm feeling guilty and wearing everyone out.

-I had to take the percocet longer and it made me crazy. (i'm crazy enough without them, i'm an upper kinda druggy anyway, dont need those downers) 

-breastfeeding positions are harder b/c of wound-now my nipples and my incision get to hurt instead of just nipples...

-i can't bend. 

-i can't laugh.

-i can't cough. but i have to-alot. why?!

-i'm pathetic and it's really wearing my spirits down. 

-i can't use any pics of me in hospital i was so drugged and scary. i freaked out my 4 yo and the pics are horrid and explain well why he was frightened, ha. shut up. dont make me laugh...

the things i hate about natural delivery:

-the waiting game! 

-the constant contractions and just waiting for a "real" one to hit so i can gun it to the hospital. 

-feeling like i need a babysitter with me at all times for the last month in case i go into labor

-praying for my water to break every night for the last 3 weeks

-the lack of epidural for me

-the fear and urgency, though i'm also counting this as a pro b/c i am better in chaos

-the unknown

-the hemorrhoids, got em without too though.

-peeing afterward is very difficult and traumatic. 

-so is pooping

things i like about natural delivery:

-arin being involved in birth

-healing/bouncing back sooner-IF it's not like #3

-not having a cut stomach

-being more in control-ish

-having baby with me immediately after

-shorter hospital stay

-generally feeling better sooner

but i did feel this pathetic after #3, so i'd rather have done all of this crap then, than have the "damage" left from that experience. 

So anyway. this probably doesn't make a whole lot of sense. my mind is a bit wacky always, but more so lately and i'm sure this is hard to follow... but to sum it up... i can see both ways. 

I guess for my next babies I will see if they think it's over 9lbs with a gigantic head and if so, i'll opt for another Csection, but otherwise I will be pushing for a VBAC, which, I'm told, I'm a perfect candidate for and they are starting to allow them here very soon.. and, I think i'll risk having the baby in the car rather than the induction... but when i'm 38 weeks along, i can't be held accountable for what i will actually do.. 

 

 

(this was originally posted on my personal blog in April)

http://wellworththewait.blogspot.com/2013/04/c-section-vs-natural-delivery.html

REVIEW & DISCOUNT: The sugarSNAP files

Alright, so I don't know about all of you, but my diaper bag is like the black hole.

Once in a while, I'll get so grossed out by the half eaten fruit snack stuck to my debit card that I'll dump the entire bag on the floor and start fresh -organizing as best as I know how.

...Then 4 hours later, it's back to where I started.

Right?!

Maybe it's just me, but I have a feeling that everyone has this problem to some degree

-though probably few to MY degree...

b/c let's be honest here, me and my kids tend to be a bit disgusting...

Just for fun-I'd like to share a story about the contents of my diaper bag...

To set the scene:

I get to stand in front of an entire congregation at church every Sunday, "leading" the music (not that I really know how..)

A short while back, while I was "leading" a song and my husband was wrestling a baby, I looked down at my 3 year old to see him waving an open tampon as high as he could reach- trying to also "lead" the congregation in song. :)

Needless to say-it was awesome.

BUT-If I'd have had this amazing file folder system for my diaper bag that day, I'm certain he would have found something else more fitting to lead with...;)

Now, everything having to do with my bag is so much easier and things run a lot smoother!

What it is, is a file folder system FOR YOUR BAG.

It's genious!

Here's what they have to say about it, in much better words than I ever could:

The Files set comes with five beautifully designed bags. We did extensive market research to ensure they fit perfectly in most diaper bags on the market. Each File has an easy-to-identify tab on top, which makes it easy to pack and carry all of your baby and toddler gear in a well-organized and intuitive system.

All of the Files stay organized by snapping together with our innovative, patent-pending hook-and-ring system. Use the entire set, or grab a couple Files, and clip them together to carry with you or stash under the stroller for quick trips!

The set comes with the following Files:

Shirts + Socks: keeps extra clothing as well as change of clean clothes within reach

Dipes + Wipes: holds everything you need for a quick change

Snacks + Supplies: keeps items like snacks, spoons and bibs handy

Lotions + Potions: holds diaper cream, sunscreen and sanitizing hand gel

Me + Mine: last, but certainly not least, the mommy file is just for you! Holds everything from lip gloss to the emergency granola bar

Each File has a different inspirational and surprising saying inside, such as This is Your Story and You Change More Than Diapers. Because who can't use a little inspiration?

We’ve even included a comprehensive, mom-tested and mom-approved packing list. We know that every mom can use a little extra help getting out the door some days.

And now, because I can see at a glance, what I have in every necessary category:

-I'm rarely ever "that girl who always shows up to a play date without bringing a diaper"

(yes, I read a rude comment referring to that on facebook recently-aren't we all on the same mom team? why so snippy?!)

-I always have the snacks I need, because I don't have to just assume there are some unopened fruit snacks somewhere in the bottom of the bag.

-I can find my hand sanitizer as fast as my toddler can find a chewed up piece of gum on the ground.

-No longer are my husband and kids waiting impatiently while I hunt for the keys "I know I put them in here somewhere"

-When there's an angry booger hanging down to the lip of a child, I can find and grab a Kleenex before anyone else notices it!

  It truly has been a life changer.

Which seems dumb to say about a bag accessory,

but this is FAR more than an accessory,

in fact, for me-it's become a necessity!

Look how magic it is!

It turned this:

Into this:

I've found a little bit of a different way to use it too.

Because I have so many different places I go.

And because I have such a different combination of which kids are with me at what point and time.

Or if I am out without the kids all together.

I used to have several different bags I would use.

-One for church

-One for "me/adult" time

-One for all necessities in case of an accident

-One for everyday

Usually all of these were cluttering up my van, and I'd end up going somewhere with the wrong bag, or with my wallet locked in the van in a different bag and it caused a lot of confusion and inconvenience... but what I do now,

thanks to the amazing sugarSNAP files,

is this:

If I am going somewhere by myself, I get to ditch all of the kid necessities in the car and take whatever I want with me, in my ONE BAG. And the switch is super fast and simple.

Then after I pick up the kids and we are going on an outing, I snag the other files and toss them in my bag.

It makes life so much easier, therefore making it better!

I am certain that the next thing I need is the Car-Go System by the same company.

I think this company is so amazing and the products they have come up with are so in tune with what a busy mommy needs!

It's a definite- BUSY MOMMY LIKES!!

get yours here
use the code: "mommylikes" and get 15% off!
code is valid until 8/1/12

**Because my bag is so cute that I'm sure you'll want to know what it is: Its an Emily

Sloan (Seattle) My mom & sister found it for me at TJMaxx :) thankyouverymuch.**

  *I was provided this product for the purpose of review, my opinions are honest and solely mine. I received no monetary compensation for this review*

REVIEW: BabySpa Baby Products

I have three kids with excema.

My three year old and my five year old have pale, sensitive skin. They constantly have chapped, dry rough patches all over their faces.

My one year old has scaly skin on her tummy and back.

I have tried so many over-the-counter items to help with their problems. Nothing has caused significant improvement in a short amount of time. I want a product that I can actually SEE working, one that makes a difference over night.

I slather stuff on their faces after they are asleep in bed at night.

I slather stuff on their bodies and faces after bathtime.

I've poured yucky stuff in the bath with them to soak in.

I don't like the cream that takes an hour to run and rub and rub in until it absorbs. I've heard that it does work on the problem areas for the people who have the time and patience to rub it in. My kids are not that patient. Nor am I.

The greasy stuff works, kind of, and it's a mess to deal with. But I do usually opt for that over the time consuming thick non-absorbing cream.

I have several prescriptions to help with their serious skin issues, but I don't really love rubbing that all over their little bodies. If it's got to be given by a pharmasist, it seems a bit intense. (don't get me wrong-i love drugs...but mainly for me...)

But I have come across a treasure that has changed routines around here.

It's changed skin around here.

It's amazing!

I seriously got this in the mail one day and rubbed in on my poor boy's extremely chapped, scaly cheeks and chin that night. The next morning his face looked a bit better! (what?!)

The company who made this miracle cream has products specified for two different stages. Baby-stage 1. Preschooler-stage 2.

I was lucky enough to get face cream and moisturizing body lotion in both stages.

I have not been disappointed!

I am almost out of my samples and I will soon be placing an order.

I need a couple travel sizes for my bag.

I need gigantic sizes for my house...in several rooms.

 I LOVE THIS STUFF.

I will not stray from this being my go-to for my kids' sensitive skin.

I am not an all-natural advocate by any means. And that isn't what intrigued me about this product. What intrigues me about this product is that it actually does something for my kids' skin!

And I consider it a bonus that it is natural and healthy!

I have even been able to declutter my bathroom by packing away several of my lotions, greases, oils and crap I've accumulated over the years while looking for a solution.

I've found the solution!

I'll keep the prescriptions out for emergencies and have this within reach after every bath and at bedtime.

I can't say enough about this product.

I haven't been excited about a baby lotion since....EVER.

BONUS: It smells delicious! Now my kids don't smell like a shmorgishbord (spelling?) of doctors office/mechanic/and great grandma. :)

More info- directly from the pros:

Unlike any other baby skin care line on the market, BabySpa is a line of natural lotions, oils, etc. that cater to the specific needs of a growing child's skin physiology by providing quality products that match up with key developmental progress and milestones such as crawling, walking and going to preschool. Made with the finest natural ingredients, including 5 ethnobotanicals (not available in any other baby skin care line), BabySpa nourishes the skin while meeting baby's sensitive needs and also making for a great bonding experience between a mother and her child.

Visit them on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BabySpaUSA

Well-deserved Awards they have won:

<><><><>

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The National Parenting Center 2012 Seal of Approval Mom’s Choice Awards 2012 Gold Seal

I'm excited to try the diaper cream.

If there was one thing I would add (not change) about this product-It would be a solution for my kids' chapped lip problem. Maybe someday the brilliant people at BabySpa will have that for me...perhaps it's already in the works? who knows... I hope I'll be one of the first to get my hands on it if they do :) Because I am a very happy customer. Pleased with an excellent product.
I also could go for the sample size being available for purchase because the little containers are adorable and sturdy-perfect for bags and little "go-to"s in every room :)

Needless to say... BUSY MOMMY LIKES!!

*I was provided a sample of this product for the purpose of review, my opinions are honest and solely mine. I received no monetary compensation for this review*

What Busy Mommy is made of:

...I've finally figured it out.

I am sporadic.

I am real.

most of all:

I am honest.

I do this blog because I want to.

I do this blog because I like to share really cool things that help me through my crazy journey I call "life."

I do NOT do this to get free things. (though that is a gigantic bonus)

I do NOT do this for money. (though I might wish- that would be an even bigger bonus)

I do NOT do this because I have to.

I have been feeling guilty lately.

Guilty because I've received a few items that I haven't reviewed-Because quite frankly they weren't that great. (I've had to offer to send them back or pay for the item so I could send it to the thrift store guilt-free. I really don't like doing that. I feel like a jerk.)

But it's more important for me to be honest to my readers (all 3 of you)

Honesty is a big part of who I am and what I stand for.

How am I supposed to teach that principle to my kids if I am on the computer typing up lies, just in hopes of growing a blog or getting more items sent my way? Not my style.

I've also been feeling guilty because of my lack of consistent posts.

But if I'm not excited about a product, I'm not going to write about it.

It takes time to sift through "things" to find "prizes"

to be brutally honest: I don't endorse crap just for the sake of a daily post.

On another note: I'm not a fan of clutter. I love taking loads to the thrift store. So I don't like to get items just for the sake of having things. I like for everything I have to have a purpose. (though I know I could do better) -so what I'm trying to say is that I'm not going to suggest you get anything unless I really believe it's useful, or extra special.

Just as all mothers of young children, I go through stages and phases where a lot of products are useful to test out, and it's usually evident what is going on in my household by what I'm posting about... (ie: a zillion pacifier holders) 

I do, on occasion, request products that I think will be helpful for what I'm dealing with. And sometimes, a company is nice enough to oblige me. (If I know its awesome , I buy it and still do a review) At other times I'm approached and asked to review products by different companies. If I think it's a fit, I gladly accept and am flattered they asked. If it's not, I don't accept, but still flattered.

To sum it up: I am choosy about what I endorse.

For that reason, my goal is quality over quantity.

If I wanted to post everyday about average junk and get paid in merchandise and money from advertisements-I think my reviews would be weak, and nobody could trust me.

What I'm trying to say in this long winded post is:

Busy Mommy Likes is an elite club.

I won't compromise my opinions and reviews by selling out.

I also won't post daily.

What I will do is post about things that truly make my life easier or better when I come across them.

I will disclose anytime a company gave me the product I review and I will tell you if I found and purchased it myself.

But you can be certain that even if it was given to me- its an honest opinion, or I sent the product back and I never mentioned it.  

(to be honest-my favorite reviews to write are on the products I found myself, or by word-of-mouth. If I'm really excited about something-it shows in my post. and I want to be excited about everything I post, so I only post about what's awesome.)

That is my promise to you :)

Thanks for the support.

and thanks for patiently waiting for me to find more amazing products to share.